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Summary —
Who Am I Without Him?: Short stories about girls and the boys in their lives is a collection of short stories by Sharon G. Flakes. The book takes its title from the first short story, "So I Ain't No Good Girl." In it, the girl is faced with the prospect of a boyfriend, Raheem, that has a wondering eye and perhaps a straying heart. She wonders if she should just ignore it, so that it doesn't cause Raheem to leave. She rationalizes that she better enjoy what she has instead of pushing him away, because she asks herself, "Who am I gonna be without him?" By the end of the story, she has seen Raheem whispering sweet nothings in the ear of another girl, but she decides to pretend she didn't see it so that Raheem won't leave her. The book contains ten different vignettes of African-American girls and their relationships with the boys around them. Often, the narrator of a story is unnamed, though she describes the people in her life.
One of the other stories that really stayed with me is "I Know a Stupid Boy When I see One." In this one, the narrator is a girl who is pregnant and whose boyfriend, Oscar is in jail. She hears about a lawyer who will help her sell her baby to a couple looking to adopt, and her father is eager for the money. While she's away awaiting her baby's birth, she meets a slow boy, Willie Greentea, who hit his head when he was younger, and has been slow ever since. She manages to get Willie Greentea wrapped around her finger, but eventually Willie realizes that she's going to have a baby. He buys it from her for a small sum of money, not understanding that the baby is already due to go to another family. Eventually, the narrator decides to back out of the adoption process, but is visited in the hospital by Willie Greentea, who expects to take the sick baby home with him. She eventually dies at his hands at the end of the story.
In one of the later stories, “Jacob’s Rules,” Mr. Jacob has a project for his class: he breaks the class into groups, one boy, one girl, and one observer (half of the groups have girl observers, half of the groups have boy observers). For the next few weeks, the groups have to behave as if they are a couple, working on projects together, shopping around for a house, and researching what is involved in adopting a child. The story follow Brandon and Marimba, a couple that just can’t seem to get along, mostly because Brandon doesn’t find Marimba attractive, but is instead drawn to their observer, Kenya. The project is intended to teach the students some of the skills necessary to succeed in a long-term relationship. As Mr. Jacobs points out, “Young men today think dating is about finding a girl, mounting a girl, and ditching a girl… I want them to see that there’s more to it than that.” By the end of the story, it’s revealed that the observers were specifically chosen because they were attractive kids, and were secretly tasked to try and undermine the relationship they were ostensively observing. Brandon learns the lesson that no one likes to be used.
The final short story is a letter from an absent father giving his daughter advice on how to pick a good boy, not someone who will leave her like he left her mother. Since it’s one of the stories that is not from a teen’s perspective, it’s one of the weakest short stories presented, even if it is full of useful advice about learning to stand for yourself and never letting your dreams be buried for another boy’s affection.
Lucien’s thoughts —
Flake’s story-telling is uneven, as some stories are significantly more compelling than some other ones, but I can see a teenager reading this book identifying with some of the characters. I think the book is useful in it’s frank portrayal of teenage relationships; the book doesn’t shy away from topics like pregnancy and abusive boyfriends, but it isn’t especially sexually graphic or explicit. It could find a home in a middle-school library. The book doesn’t make a huge deal about it, but it’s implied that most of the characters in the short stories are African American, and the book may be used as a way to reach out to students who don’t see very many characters representing their experiences growing up and hooking up. I can see why the book was awarded a Coretta Scott King honors award. While the stories explore serious topics, most of them are infused with a healthy sense of humor.
Librarian’s use —
I think this book of short stories could easily be included in a section on teen romantic fiction. It’s shorter stories could attract readers who are reluctant to commit to a longer novel, but are interested in teenage dating. The characters are well sketched by Flake; their characterization feels true. And these are not romantic comedies, where opposites attract and they all end up happily together. In Flake’s hands, teens often have to face the challenges of a broken heart or crushed dreams. The book has plenty of life lessons, for those who are looking to read about the often misunderstood needs between boys and girls.
Other reviews —
Rochman, H. (2004). Flake, Sharon G. Who am I without him? Booklist, 100 (16), 1440.
Hilarious and anguished, these 10 short stories about growing up black today speaks with rare truth about family, friends, school, and especially about finding a boyfriend. Erika is a “ghetto girl” who likes white boys; she can’t help it, and the other black kids in school can’t stand her, because they know. Class is a big issue for Erin, who steals clothes so he can take a suburban girl to the homecoming dance. The church girls are forbidden to date, and they get hurt when they go hunting for boys. But their well-meaning parents don’t have it right, and the girls won’t stop looking. As with Janet MacDonald’s fiction, the talk here is wild, angry, and outrageous, but there’s no overt sex or obscenity. Yes, there are messages, but the narrative is never preachy or uplifting; it’s honest about the pain. When one girls’ boyfriend hits her, she apologizes “just like my momma does when daddy slaps her.” The best advice comes from a dad who abandoned his family, who now tells his teenage daughter how to avoid getting stuck with someone like him (“you is so much more than a pretty face and a tight pair of jeans, some boy’s girlfriend or some man’s wife”). Not everyone makes it. The stories work because Flake never denies the truths of poverty, prejudice, and failure.
Oluonye, M. (2004) Who am I without him?: Short stories about girls and the boys in their lives. School library journal 50 (5), 147.
Written in the vernacular of urban African-American teens, which Flake captures flawlessly, these 10 stories have universal themes and situations. Some are funny and uplifting; others, disturbing and sad. In "So I Ain't No Good Girl," a teen wants to be with a good-looking popular boy, so much so that she tolerates his disrespect and abuse. In "Wanted: A Thug," Melody writes to a columnist for advice on how to steal a friend's boyfriend, unaware that the friend is the columnist's younger sister. Two of the stories are told from a boy's point of view. The concluding story, "A Letter to My Daughter," in which an absent father gives his daughter his advice about boys and men is sad, poignant, and loving. Flake has a way of teaching a lesson without seeming to do so. Addressing issues and situations that many girls face in today's often complex society, this book is provocative and thought-provoking.
Gordon, L. (2004) Who am I without him?: Short stories about girls and the boys in their lives. Library media connection, 23 (3), 71.
These stories are centered on the theme of adolescent romance. Though all the characters are African American, the author has covered many of the issues that teens of all races experience. In “Wanted: a Thug,” Melody is interested in another girl’s boyfriend and writes to an advice columnist who happens to be the sister of the other girl. In “I Like White Boys,” the girl yearns for boys that she probably won’t get. “A Letter to My Daughter” is from an absent father who writes to his teenage daughter to give her advice about the men she will encounter and the goals she sets for herself. Other stories concern teen pregnancy, teen boys making wrong decisions to impress girls, and a class experiment on respect and relationships. It is refreshing to see an author who can capture the rhythm of the street and teen culture without needing to add profanity or graphic sex; that makes this book instantly usable in a variety of situations in school beyond its immediate appeal to teens seeking romance. These stories would be appropriate discussion starters in courses that include inter-personal relationships, dating, and sex, such as health, independent living, or family living. Of course, these would be appropriate in English classes too.
